I deactivated my Facebook and logged out of my Instagram accounts over 6 months ago and I haven’t looked back. I also removed the TikTok app off of my phone after a month of trying to use it responsibly for business. (spoiler alert: it was an epic fail because of reason number 2)
I remember when social media first came out as Myspace, then Facebook and Instagram. I remember creating my first Myspace page and having Tom as my first friend. I later became addicted to customizing my page and the use of photo filters before moving on to Facebook. Facebook seemed to be great for reconnecting people and I loved that I kinda had most of my friends and family all on one app. I later created an Instagram when Facebook became too overwhelming with all the words. It became my platform of choice for marketing my business, Little Shop Joy and connecting with customers. After a few years of telling myself that I had to be on Instagram in order to having a profitable online business, I was so relieved and definitely scared when I decided that I would give up social media for good. I believed that my business could and would succeed without social media and it has been flourishing. Social media wasn’t good for me mentally and I was spending wayyyy too much time on it when I could have been doing something else.
Before I dig into all the reasons why I quit, I must acknowledge that social media is not all bad. It can bring the world together based on common interests and helps us stay in touch with people all around the world. When used as a ‘tool’, it can be beneficial. It just doesn’t work for me. It was starting to hinder me rather than be used as the ‘tool’ it was initially created for. I had to quit social media for the following reasons:
1.) The Comparison Game
I would get a bit bummed every time I saw someone’s life progressing quickly and my own journey felt like it was a moving turtle slow trying to go up a steep mountain. Happy marriages, new houses, new Jobs, Happy Relationships, Clean homes, fit bodies, happy families, clean desk, sales notifications, new business developments, to-do lists getting done, new goals been smashed, etc – I would log off unhappier than when I first logged on because I would compare what I saw to what I actually have in real life. I would beat myself up for not being as far as I think I should be based on me comparing someone’s glorified picture to my reality. I just could not understand how I could not have it – how I could not have what they had when I clearly deserved it too. Me constantly comparing myself and my journey to someone else’s made me less appreciative of my own. It made me less grateful for my accomplishments because it never felt like enough – it always felt like less than what I deserved or should have received. I started feeling like I wasn’t enough.
2. I was on it too much – wayy too much
‘Let me check Facebook/Instagram/Tiktok right quick’ would lead into 30 minute to an hour or two of binge scrolling. A simple scroll would start with me trying to relieve some boredom to finding out and consuming stuff that I didn’t really need anyways. A cute puppy video would be followed by pictures or videos of people or information about the newest fashion or diet trend – more information that I could do without. The time that I was constantly using to check social media could have been used to do other things, like market my online business in other creative ways.
3. I used the likes to validate who I was and what I should be doing
I used to check social media like an addict once I uploaded a new product picture or a selfie to my personal Instagram. I had to check every few minutes or every hour to see if anyone liked or shared my photes. I longed for and needed the likes and positive feedback on whatever I posted to validate how I felt. If I got positive feedback, that meant I was doing something right. Society and social media applauded so I knew it would be successful or it was awesome. I got the approval that I needed. If a picture or video did not get enough likes, I used to hide or delete it entirely.
4. I needed my ideas and thoughts to be validated
Before I did something, I would check to see if it has been done by someone else to see their results or the effect it had on them. For me, the easiest way to do that was with a hashtag on Instagram. If I wanted to try something like when I was exploring intermitted fasting, I explored the hashtag first and saw the awesome before and after pictures thennnn I decided that I would try it. I needed to see those pictures or some kind of feedback in order to validate what I wanted to do.
5. Found myself taking pics just for the ‘gram and obsessing about the perfect caption
My mind was consumed with taking that perfect picture for Instagram. Instead of being in the present moment, I became obsessed with capturing the perfect moment so I could post it later. I would Google and search Pinterest for the perfect caption and often used bits and pieces from other people’s caption to create my own. I would also redo real life moments just so I could capture them on camera. I ‘had’ to take good pictures of my food when I was on my weight loss journey and justified it as being able to inspire others on how I was losing weight. I remember asking my kids to hold their pose so I could grab my phone to snag the perfect picture. In the pursuit of trying to capture the perfect moment, I was not enjoying or being present in the moment. I was wasting soo much time trying to capture it with my phone that I wasn’t able to enjoy it with all of my senses.
6. I was afraid to be me – scared I wouldn’t get likes or follows
I used to second guess what I should post because I was afraid it wouldn’t get any likes or people would think I was a weirdo or judge me for whatever reason. I was afraid that if I totally showed up as myself, people would not like me or unfollow me. I used to hate when I had a certain number of followers and after a couple of pictures or new stories on Instagram, that number would go down by a couple of followers and then life felt like it was over! So instead, I tried to adapt and be a likeable person online – I tried not to ruffle up any feathers and just keep posting what I thought other people wanted to see – even if that meant being less of myself to just please other people. I needed those numbers to go up in order to feel better about myself and my life.
7- People are mainly posting their successes – not the failures
People rarely post about losing their job over and over, getting their car repoed, whoas of divorce, the struggles of single motherhood, the struggles of starting up an new online business, the days or months your business had without any sales, the bouts of depression, what to do when it doesn’t always feel like sun and rainbows, etc. No one is waving their failures in your face – instead you only see the come ups or the fake ups because some people just post to put on a show. Social media is indeed a just fantasy and that people only post their successes. It is extremely rare to see someone’s full life story.
Social media is a great tool that has many uses when used correctly and responsibly. For me, it cease to work and started to create other issues. It was not as useful or beneficial to me as it is to others.
Nowadays, you can still find my Instagram for my online pet shop, Little Shop Joy, and my personal but I am not active on it. The TikTok that I tried for a couple of months is still up as well. All are still up for business purposes. I am still off of Facebook but I have logged back on randomly to snag some pictures that I posted or to check in on that loved one that changes their number soo frequently.
You can always find me on Pinterest. It is definitely my jam and allows me to show up in all ways as Jackie. On. Purpose.
xoxo,
Jackie
P.s.
If you are still on the fence about rather or not you should get rid of your social media, check out Social Dilemma. It’s a great documentary on Netflix. It digs deep in the the fantasy of social media and it can can help you distinguish if you are using social media for your good. That’s ultimately what it’s all about. You gotta distinguish and determine this for yourself- just like all things in life.
I’m not hear to bash or judge anyone. Different strokes for different folks. To each its own y’all. I love you!
